Rating: PG
Category: POV
Disclaimer: Xani's not mine. Darn.
Archive: Anywhere that wants it, just keep this header intact.
Spoilers: For JA series.
Summary: Xanatos comes to a choice.
Feedback: Pleeeease!
Notes: Kind of inspired by "Rest Stop," by matchbox twenty. Just a very short POV idea I couldn't get rid of.

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I was wondering, Master, do you know who I am? Do you know me? The real me, not this face I throw out for your approval?

Do you have any idea what stirs in my body, what motivates me, what makes me your padawan?

Well. I don't know either.

And as we sit here in this rescue pod, on our way to Telos, I wonder about myself. Who am I? Who are you? What have you to do with me?

You're my master and I'm your padawan. I suppose you'd call me your friend too. What does that mean?

I watch you sleeping, your face relaxed in dreams. What are you dreaming?

Who cares? Does it really matter? It's not about me, Master, unless you've lied. You don't love me, you never have. Not really.

Oh, you *say* you do, you say, you say!

It's just not the right kind of love. Not the kind I want.

I want you, Master. I've wanted you since, oh, the dawn of time, I think. And I've always been denied.

While you were sleeping, Master, I came to a conclusion. I'd better end this quick. Or I could panic. I don't want to be your padawan anymore.

In fact, I'm having strong feelings about my place in the Jedi. I'm too good for them. Too strong. They envy me.

While you were sleeping, Master, I came to this decision: sorry, the life of a Jedi isn't for me.

It'll be over as soon as we reach the planet.

END