Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Methos/Duncan
Archive: Yes, please.
Summary: What Duncan was thinking as he drove away after the Jimmy scene. A ficlet.

It's sudden, this quiet explosion, like bleeding deep under the skin without pain. I close my eyes and lean into the agony, whispering that it can't get much worse, knowing that it doesn't get much better. The words were cutting knives slicing me to ribbons, and you, you were the hand that held the blade.

I'm bleeding. This kind of wound doesn't heal with a tingle of quickening and won't go away with time.

I trusted you with my life. It sounds naive to say it now, but I did, I would have. I've been at your mercy and you at mine, and we never could be serious about killing each other.

I'm not even serious about it now, because I know I couldn't fight you. If you came to kill me, I'm afraid I'd kneel quietly down in front of your blade, bowing to your years, struck for the last time by the beauty of your eyes.

Your hands on me were rough. We'd never so much as touched each other like that before. "No. No. It's not enough," and your voice a deadly weapon against my skin, even while your hands and eyes fought to quell my naiveté, to teach me a lesson about trusting ancient Immortals.

And you started it. But I finished it, and I'm not proud to say this, with the words that finally broke you. "We're through." Easy words, so easy to say then. I could not have thought of any others.

But I wish I'd said the words that would have been so much more difficult -- a simple "I forgive you. Let's move on." That would have flayed me open, but maybe now I would not be bleeding, my heart torn between you and her. I would have chosen, and it would have been the "wrong" choice, but I would feel....

Complete. With you.